Do we do this knowingly or unknowingly… put a mask on to show the world we are OK during our darker times? Is it an ancient fear response built in to save ourselves… a flight or fight thing? We don’t want to show the world how vulnerable we are because we are so scared? So in order to survive, we put on this mask of normality?
I show everyone this mask. My family, friends, co-workers, even strangers. This mask that shows no sadness, no fear, no loathing, no terror or dismay. This mask that I have painted with carefully placed strokes of contentment, delight, fulfillment and happiness.
The inside of this mask is dark. Its filled with a mosaic of self-doubt, anger, sorrow and depression.
There are moments though, when the mask disappears and am not hiding. Moments, sometimes alone, sometimes not, when a smile breaks through. When I realize that I am still giggling at a horrible “dad joke” my nephew is reading out loud or smiling because my dog decided to snuggle with me while I am watching a movie.
These seconds I try to remember. I write them down, grateful for them. They become an auto-biography of the love and laughter in my life. The moments are my gravity, pulling me back. Giving me purpose.
Photo by Chalo Garcia on Unsplash
Depression Thoughts 